before you use this website and our services
Read This Disclaimer Carefully!
Disclaimer and other necessary warning clauses:
As we all already know, computers can be a headache! They get freaking viruses and you can’t use them anymore! Remember when a computer virus was all that you had to care about? Those were the good days. Nowadays we have to worry about real-life, biologic kind of viruses.
Either way, this disclaimer is to make sure we are on the same page when it comes to downloads from this site, and now, with this Corona Virus going around, that we don’t keep bumping into each other in any jobsite.
Disclaimer about Viruses and the use of this site:
To start, we don’t want to scare you, but when it comes to computer viruses, we can’t keep up with security, we are handymen not computer engineers! We do the best we can, so don’t go downloading anything from this site without scanning it first!
Disclaimer about Viruses and the use of our services:
Second, we don’t want to scare you even more, but with Corona virus, although we follow strict safety protocols and take measures to avoid known forms of contagion, its a fact that we are not coming up with a vaccine anytime soon, so lets stay away from each other, wear masks, wash our hands often, and maintain social distancing while we work at your place.
Viruses Everywhere - Mega disclaimer:
The Ultimate Handyman is neither responsible nor liable for any viruses or other contamination of your systems. Either on your computers or your own bodies! If you are really susceptible, or you, or someone in your family is immune compromised, lets just reschedule for when a vaccine is invented.
Also it is important to point out, that The Ultimate Handyman can help, but we have no way to know all forms of contagion. Therefore, The Ultimate Handyman is not responsible for any form of delays on jobs, inaccuracies listed on this site, neither discrepancies of time on our contracts, especially when such delay is caused by viruses or consequences arising from them.
In the best interest of everyone involved, if anyone feels sick, we rather put the worker on quarantine at home. Furthermore, if anyone is tested positive, either on our crew, or a resident of the household that we are working on, the job will be cancelled until further notice, or safety measures measures can be taken for the job to continue. For sure this means delays.
We have to point out, that these are unprecedented times and requires unprecedented measures to maintain everyone involved safe from the virality of this disease.
Our attorney is going nuts! - Mega disclaimer:
Going back to computers, do not download anything from here if you do not have a high security file scanner against viruses. The same way we make these materials available for free to you, our attorney insisted in adding a few lines here, for free, to warn you and indemnify us! (whatever that means)
As an example of his lines, he insisted that we clarified that we are not responsible for errors or omissions arising out of your use of this website or with respect to the material contained on the site. We are humans and just by reading this I detected 5 errors! I guess our attorney knows this very well and warned us about this things.
Including, but not limited to, any material posted on the site, and or available for downloading. Don’t use it unless you know that nothing can go wrong… but there is always something, huh? So, don’t use it!?! That is basically what the attorney asked us to write, so here it is…
Moreover, this site and all materials contained in it, are distributed and transmitted “as is” without warranties of any kind, either express or implied, including without limitation, warranties of title or implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for any particular purpose or use. (ugh!)
In addition, The Ultimate Handyman is not responsible for any special, indirect, incidental or consequential damages that may arise from the use of, or the inability to use, the site and/or the materials contained on the site, whether the materials contained on the site are provided by The Ultimate Handyman, or a third party.
Use at your own risk - Mega Disclaimer
Use at your own risk. Download at your own risk. Try to do it yourself at your own risk.
Don't be that guy! - Mega Disclaimer
To sum up, there is always a dumbass who reads articles online, tries to replicate what they understood, things go horribly wrong, and they try to blame it on somebody else, instead of on their own incredible inability to do things right! Don’t be that guy! If it could go wrong don’t do it, especially if it is based on what we say or do.
Most importantly, don’t book our services if you are immune compromised and is planning to stay in the same room as we work. Let’s stand on the side of reason and wait until its safe to meet again.
Enjoy using this site!
Now if you noticed, there must be an add close to this text box.
Most likely to the right of this if you are using a computer, but below if you are using a phone or an tablet.
If you want to sue someone, click on the ad and buy something from them… these people must have deep pockets, they are paying google for adds to appear on our website!
These bastards! You can always go scam them, instead!
We are small fish.
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